How we are

When we are hungry

When we are taken advantage of

When we are uncomfortable

When we are slighted

When we have wealth

When we have the upper hand

When we have a privilege card

...is who we really are.

Enchanted to meet you

It's been a long time coming, so I think this deserves a blogpost. I mean, who would have thought I'd meet RB on a Holy Friday... after visiting churches in scorchingly hot Metro Manila... and praying to the divine for a new lease on life? Could this be a sign, a serendipitous event, or a ticket to reality?

Kinilig ba ako? Not really. Hindi naman sya nagpapa-cute eh. He was wholesomely funny and glaringly uninterested. To him, I was just an audience, a captive one. It felt like his punchlines and memes online came to life. I was surprised to know that the showbiz persona aligns with real-life. It was fascinating to be at the receiving end of his witty banter. It was good (so good) while it lasted. 

Throughout the years, he was pretty consistent, and I was not. He still does not believe in "forever" and continues to avoid marriage and kids. He still hates stupid people and Duterte (although Davao City seems to have a special place in his heart). He still basks in his celebrity status (albeit sarcastically) but remains in touch with the concerns of the common man. I, on the other hand, had forgotten how awesome he is. For various reasons, my affinity for his humor faded. My reality diverged from his target market. My views dissented from his advice and teachings. 

He had probably forgotten by now that he met me. I am sure I did not make a strong first impression. With the passing of time, I will probably forget I met him. Life will throw more reasons to let go and move on. Besides, as he would always say, "There's more to life than love." 

"This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you." - Taylor Swift

Revenge saving

Like a company during recession, I did not hit my financial targets last year. I aimed to save at least 30% of my annual income but fell substantially short. Did it bother me? Obviously yes, since I am blogging about it. Could I have done more? Sure, I could have penny-pinched here and there, but that would have been at the expense of personal convenience and peace of mind. I would rather spend more money than overthink, argue with someone, or go through unnecessary steps. My priorities shifted.

After pandemic, it felt like I had to make up for lost opportunities and appreciate the things that [I realized] I took for granted -- like checking items off my bucket list, catching up with friends and family, and pursuing personal advocacies. I doubled down on traveling, networking, seeking new experiences, and in general, putting myself out there. These activities require spending money. If not money, time, which, as the famous aphorism goes, is also money. I was revenge spending.  

When I reflected on the year that was, I realized that I had taken for granted the opportunity to grow the money I had spent. While I did not regret traveling to Mongolia or moving to a new home, there were times when I had spent more than I should, simply because I can. While that is a great feeling and a privileged flex, it can also turn into a dangerous precedent (e.g., friends might think that I will always foot the bill), a hedonistic habit (e.g., I may never want to book anything lower than a 4-star hotel), or a lifestyle that I will have to maintain (e.g., branding myself as an art connoisseur). 

This year is all about tightening my belt without sacrificing my simple joys. Perhaps shifting my priorities again -- saving over spending, creating over consuming, simplicity over indulgence -- and reminding myself that I can give and do more if I have more.

I'm back, homies!

I have been away. I did things that I should have done long ago. Things that put me in a better headspace. Things that gave me more confidence. I would like to believe that the changes changed me, but somehow, the transformation still feels unfinished. 

I moved to a new place. Still within Kapitolyo, but bigger space with better view. I now have a dedicated space for my home office and a balcony where I can finally live out my plantita dreams. The move made me realize that I have accumulated an insane amount of stuff over the years, but it also made me realize that I did not have the essentials and that my possessions were pretty low quality. Maybe I was being a cheapskate or maybe I just did not have good taste. In any case, the upgrade set me back financially, but it was all worth it. My new home reflects my personal aesthetic and accommodates most activities and things I wish to explore. 

I travelled less last year, because my bed has become more comfortable than any hotel bed. I dined out less, because my kitchen is well stocked and complete. My home office has a library, arts and crafts area, and has the best view of the Kapitolyo sunrise. There is no dull moment or space. Living in my home is an adventure in and of itself.

I have already invited a few friends over. My arki friends were pretty impressed with the level of personalization. My work friends think I finally have something to show for my income (maybe I am really a cheapskate!). Some friends are just happy that I have become domesticated and have taken a break from my YOLO lifestyle.