New Word

limerence

use in a sentence: i think i've been in a state of limerence for 4 years now.

Just Flooding My Blog

i don't allow too many people to know me. i think i don't need that much attention anyway. i think only few opinions matter. it's a known fact that i don't read my students' evaluation, because they are just full of crap and students don't really know what's best for them. and as we all know, the "i told you so" comes really really later in life. it's also my automatic response to evade someone who's really too pushy. because like what the first sentence says, "i don't ALLOW", meaning somehow i want control. so in a very rare situation where i let my guard down, it means you matter. so i really don't understand why a person passes up a chance to affect someone's life. maybe it's bad timing the first time. maybe it's bad mood the next. maybe it's bad idea the next after next. but of course, i can take a hint. just don't expect that when the time comes that you decide to finally allow yourself to matter, i'll still allow you to experience me. you better be ready to answer "why only now?", because 'second chance' is not a right; it's a privilege.

Down With Losers

i have this theory that people feel more alive when they are miserable. when they struggle and feel like losers, they bask in their misery with the certainty that when you're down, there's no other way but up. i see this theory supporting the phenomenon that ugly guys get the pretty girls or that the rags eventually do turn to riches or that the underdog wins sympathy votes. honestly, it sucks. i blame fairytales with ever-afters, and the tv program "wish ko lang", and life stories of reality tv characters, and charice pempengco and oprah, and FPJ movies (kung saan ang bida ay binubugbog muna bago nagtatagumpay). because come to think of it, most of the time, the hunks get the babes; the rich will most probably strive to get richer (and will successfully do so); and sympathy votes can't put a good fighter down. it's nice to win without much drama.

Seriously

i think that people see me as someone serious or borderline boring. heck, maybe i am. but if you've known me way back in high school or college, you'll think otherwise. my high school yearbook write-up even mentions me as someone who "cracks the corniest jokes and dances out-of-this-world dance steps which could give you goosebumps." a loaded description, but simply put i have humor in my body. so whatever happened?

i don't know. maybe i got tired of being laughed at. or maybe i discovered that people are more funny if they think they got me when in fact they didn't. calling it bluff or something to that effect. i have a high tolerance for stupid people. that's why i can still bear watching slapstick comedy. but i also dig David Letterman's brand of punchlines - bland, wordplay, but very intellectually relevant. and honestly, i appreciate the latter more.

there's also a very thin line between funny and downright pathetic. too pathetic to even deserve a chuckle. so the next time any of you throw a prank at me, look at my expression. if you got a cold stare or a searching wince, it's not that i did not get the joke. it means try harder stupid! and usually i stop listening on your 5th attempt. because like X-factor, sense of humor is either you got it or you don't. case in point, i once told a student that his jokes are so corny that i will probably give him a joke book for Christmas. indeed, he got one from me 2 Christmases ago. my personal assessment, he never improved.