Stepping up

I just received my confirmation as committee vice-chair for IPBA. I am entering unchartered territory here. I try to avoid leadership roles because to stay on the sidelines is safe, easy, and stress-free. I always joke about being a perpetual member of the "suggestion committee," where all I do is provide suggestions and let the powers that be figure out how to execute them. Actually, this appointment came about because I commented that the committee chair's "invitation to nominate" email did not contain any attachments about the vice-chair's responsibilities. Me and my OC-ness and inability to shut up! The chair must have thought, "If this person gives a shit about email attachments, then she surely gives a shit about the organization." 

So here I am, accepting a two-year term to not only participate, but to exert my "best efforts" to carry out my duties and responsibilities. I'm scared and excited at the same time. My goal is to just enjoy the ride, but it would also be nice to meet some wonderful people along the way and make a difference in my profession. 

Christmas rush

It's Christmas season and gift-giving is upon us. More than the former, the latter is the real reason for the Christmas rush. People rush to the malls to buy presents. People rush to parties to give out these presents. Inaanaks rush to visit their ninongs and ninangs to receive presents. People rush to their hometowns to share their bounty for the year. Like Santa Claus, people rush to ensure that they are able to give presents to as many people as possible -- people who they should be thankful for but have neglected throughout the year. People use this one occasion to be remembered or to be relevant, and just as quickly as the Christmas spirit, fade away from each other's lives, only to resurface in twelve months.

Generosity should be an all-year-round virtue and not an occasion-based act. If people express gratitude and appreciation (whether through gifts, service, or words) as often as they should, there would be no need to cram gift-giving in that two-week period leading to Christmas day. If people remain present and involved in each other's lives throughout the year, there would be no need to attend all these reunions and parties for the sake of catching up or making their presence felt. People can avoid the rush if they focus on the real reason for the season -- remembering Jesus' birthday -- rather than on the justification for gift-giving.

Now Playing: Christmas In Our Hearts by Jose Mari Chan

Walking on eggshells

I am old enough to know that there are people who live alternative lifestyles. The kinds that are outside the norm. Immoral by some standards. Irrational to the reasonable person. I am also old enough to know not to question preferences and feelings for the sake of preaching my values. I'd rather listen than give advice or opinion because even with all the facts laid in front of me, I know that my view can never be that all-encompassing or impartial. My unconscious biases can get in the way. False consensus effect is real and uncontrollable. And besides, no one has the monopoly of wisdom or truth. I refuse to make assumptions because that will lead to baseless and unnecessary judgments. I can only offer respect to a fellow human and if solicited, an objective account of what is considered just under the present legal regime. 

I recognize that people need to experience certain things at certain times in their lives. A baby needs to fall to learn how to stand. Adolescents need to explore to find their identities. A person needs to love to know her boundaries. And just because a person has gone through certain things does not mean she has the right to "prevent" other people from committing the same mistakes, learning the same lessons, and experiencing the same trauma. No one is an expert in this so-called life. We are all given a lifetime (however short it may be) to seek our happiness, to know our truth, and to fulfill our destinies.

Ode to my airfryer

You were in my cart for two years

I was then still on the lookout for a better deal

To be sure, I observed my sisters'

But it was my parents' that had me convinced

I waited a little bit more to get you at a bargain

When you arrived, you were bigger than expected

I did not have enough space for you

You were complicated

Your manual was difficult to understand

I kept you in the box for months

I even thought of returning you for a refund

One day, I decided to fix myself

I decided to be healthy

You offered to take out the bad stuff

You promised not to make me wait long

You give me something delicious each time

I started to depend on you

I discover something new about you every day

You take care of me as I take care of you

Now I cannot imagine my life without you

The essence of success

If you can absolutely do nothing and be rewarded, would you risk your lavish lifestyle, guilty pleasures, and addiction? I know it sounds like a trick question or an MLM opening line. To clarify, to "do nothing" means to do nothing that will make you feel you "need" to do the thing (e.g., work) and to do only things that will make you happy. Others call it "freedom." I call it "nothing," as it literally is a blank in space and time, which you can fill in with anything you want.

It is difficult to resist the allure of the "dasurv" mentality. You worked hard, so you play hard. You deserve to reap the fruits of your labor. However, most of us were brought up under a system of cycles. We do something to get rewarded, but we know that we will have to do the same thing again over and over, because the appeal of the reward has become too strong, too familiar, too attainable. Why give it up?

Three words: Fuck. You. Money. What if you can walk away from your shitty job, give your employer the middle finger on your way out (to use the FU term literally), and have enough money to maintain your desired lifestyle without needing another job? No more hamster wheel. No more Monday blues. No more performance evaluation. 

I deserve to enjoy all the days of the week, not just the weekend. I deserve to wake up to the sound of birds chirping, not the alarm on my phone. I deserve to spend my days inspired and energized, not coasting or languishing. So yes, I will risk it all to have the life I deserve.

Killing a part of me

I feel cold every time I eliminate fear and comfort. Because I am so calculated and predictable, I do this move swiftly and without looking at the variables. When I change the status quo, I do not check my emotions. I just do it. However it turns out, I just know it was meant to be.

I remember the time when I quit a job where I truly excelled, because I could not see myself doing it for the rest of my life. I just walked away without saying anything. I woke up one day and decided to buy a one-way ticket to Davao, without any clue of what awaits me in my hometown. I never spoke of that chapter to anyone until now.

I remember the night when the guy I had been pining on for years finally told me he’s taken. Like a true friend, I wished him well, but I told myself that I will no longer see him or give him favors like I used to. If he will be happy, then it should be with the person he chose.

I remember when I stopped talking to a friend. She said she’s tired of me and like a fuse, I just snapped. I have not communicated with her since then although we live in the same city and move within the same circle of friends. For me, friends should never get tired of each other. Those who believe otherwise are not worth my time.

I believe we all kill a little of ourselves every day to make us feel more alive. The things and persons that hold us back or make us comfortable are the scariest, because the minute they disappear, our world will fall apart. So it is best to keep them at arm’s length or to cut them lose while you are still in control.

Tonight, I feel I should kill another part of me.

Dating grifters

Instagram dating gurus are full of shit. They operate from two polarized points of view. If you listen closely to what they are harping, you will understand why our society is full of unhappy and entitled single people.

They tell the guys to work on themselves but tell the girls that no guy is too busy. They tell the girls to have standards but tell the guys that a girl will be submissive to the right guy. They tell the guys not to respond to her text right away but tell the girls that the right guy will not make them wait. They tell the guys not to be clingy or desperate but tell the girls that the right guy will always find ways to make them feel special. 

Seriously, these dating grifters should try harder or, at the very least, discuss among themselves to come up with more harmonious dating rules and advice. Dating is already hard enough as it is. They should not confuse the already star-crossed lovers and complicate things. But I guess we should know better than to trust these relationship charlatans who suggest that love is a one-size-fits-all thing.

Kudos shmudos

When clients breathe down your neck on a daily basis, it is easy to doubt whether you are still doing a good job. If you missed an issue or a deadline, you question your efficiency. If you made a wrong assumption and provided advice on that basis, you question your competence. If you spoke candidly and the client took offense, you question your eloquence. If you had to explain yourself, you question your worth.

They say, "practice makes perfect" or "practice builds confidence," but does it really? When every client has a different expectation, can you really rely on your experience? When each matter is highly nuanced, do you allude to what is familiar or conventional? When a person says, "I eat this for breakfast" or "I can do this with my eyes closed," I suspect those are just motivational self-talk. No one really believes that pompous prick.

On those rare occasions when someone expresses his/her appreciation for what I do, I find it hard to accept the praise or recognition. I dismiss it by saying, "I was just doing my job." Perhaps I am just so used to receiving complaints that a "thank you" to me is nothing more than a closing spiel.

For the oppressed

Oh! To be young and passionate about self-advocacy! A funny throwback to that time when my only concern was how to sneak outside food into SM cinema. I don't remember why I started this petition. I must have been so pissed. LOL

Pahintulutan ang mga manonood na magdala at maipasok 

sa sinehan ang pagkain o snacks na binili sa labas ng food 

stall nilang "Snack Time."