The path of least resistance

My friends would often ask, "When will you be back in Davao?" I know they mean when I will return for good. There has always been this impression or understanding that my relocation to Manila was just a temporary itch that I needed to scratch. Like an OFW had to earn money abroad so she can retire comfortably in her hometown. Like a Filipino migrates to get a green card, but eventually repatriates to enjoy her pension. Like money was the only reason why I left.

This understanding is misplaced. I moved because the opportunities for growth in Davao are limited. Although I formed solid friendships and professional networks there, my interests had expanded beyond what the city can offer. Once I had experienced what working with international lawyers and corporate teams felt like, I knew it is the world that I want to be part of. When I started meeting movers and shakers during my travels, races, and conferences, I wanted to be one. My eyes were opened to possibilities. I realized that the only thing stopping me from the life that I wanted is the fear of failure.

Davao is familiar and comfortable. It offers the path of least resistance. I was valuable and respected in my own circles there. The likelihood of failure is slim when you have friends and connections you can rely on. If I stay in this small pond, I could be one of the big fishes. 

But had I stayed in Davao, I would have already failed at what I could become by not trying. I would wonder if I got to where I am because of my own merit and abilities or because of someone's personal preference or good graces. I would have "what if" and "what does it take" questions looming over my head. I would have lesser appreciation for growing pains and small victories. 

I will stay in Manila for as long as it serves my purpose. If it becomes familiar and comfortable, I may also leave this place. One thing is certain though, I will always seek growth and I will never cower in failure. If that entails that I have to move again, then I will not hesitate to do so.

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