Now that I have freed up my days of any mindless scrolling, reading, commenting, reacting, and consuming internet content, I finally have so much time on my hands. I am not new to this. I used to arrange my activities like Tetris blocks in my calendar when I was in law school and in SyCip. That discipline served me well. I realized then that 24 hours is more than enough for work and play. I engrained productive routines and was mentally prepared for any contingencies. I was invincible.
Where did that attitude go? My life went on a downward-spiral since I left Davao City. I was constantly out of my element and became a completely different person. Except to very few friends, I hid from my social circles -- running communities, mountaineers, professional orgs, frat/soro. I became invisible. I chased superficial things and temporary highs. I sought instant gratification and blurred my tunnel vision. I lost my way.
Jenith said, "Sa atong lifetime naa gyud chance na mamali ta. Ang importante aware ta sa atong mali." She is always the wise one. How can I not believe in myself if good people like her believe in me?
So I am dusting myself off and rewiring my internal circuit board. I do not know how long it will take for me to relearn my old routines and reorient my moral compass. That is not important because I am not giving myself a deadline. Progress and consistency are my benchmarks. I just cannot stay where I am.
Now Playing: One Step At A Time by Jordin Sparks
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